Little Gray Butts
by Orrymain
Summary: Thor zaps up Jack at an inopportune moment, leaving behind a very angry and frustrated archaeologist who wants Jack back NOW! You might even see a part of Daniel you aren't used to seeing!


Little Gray Butts  
  
Author: Orrymain  
  
Author Email: marciastudley@comcast.net (Feedback Welcome)  
  
Category: Slash, Drama, Angst, Romance, Humor, Missing Scenes, Established Relationship   
  
Pairing: Jack/Daniel ... and it's all J/D   
  
Rating: PG-13   
  
Season: 7 - Fall/Winter 2003  
  
Spoilers: Thor's Hammer, Thor's Chariot, Fair Game, Nemesis, Small Victories, Red Sky, Promethus*, Unnatural Selection*, Fragile Balance, and itty bitty teensy weensy mentions that don't really spoil much of anything for Singularity, Serpent's Lair, Threshold, Menace, Birthright, and Evolution.  
  
(*these season 6 eppys have been "Danielized" for the purposes of my J/D universe; remember, in my universe "Meridian" was only a dream)  
  
Size: 74kb  
  
Written: August 10,14-15,19,22, 25-27 2003   
  
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy   
  
Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally!  
  
Summary: Thor zaps up Jack at an inopportune moment, leaving behind a very angry and frustrated archaeologist who wants Jack back NOW! You might even see a part of Daniel you aren't used to seeing! This is the 6th in the They Don't Understand series, but stands alone and you don't have to read any of the of the others in order to enjoy this one.  
  
Notes:   
  
1) **Indicates private unspoken thoughts  
  
2) Actual excerpts from the computer diary will start with //Beginning of Daniel's Diary// and end with //End of Daniel's Diary//.  
  
3) Thanks to Judy who urged me to deflect a little from what was originally one very long epic. With her gentle pestering, I removed entire sections and made them into their own fics. Those pieces are better for it, and so is this still long but not quite as long as it used to be story!  
  
Little Gray Butts  
  
by Orrymain  
  
"I am getting so freakin' tired of this. THOR GET YOUR LITTLE GRAY BUTT DOWN HERE NOW!. This is freakin' ridiculous. Come on, already, what the heck is the crisis now? THOR, DO YOU HEAR ME? I said, GET DOWN HERE NOW AND BRING BACK MY ... BRING BACK JACK!"  
  
It was 11:30 p.m., and Daniel Jackson was having a hissy fit. He was barefoot, wearing only a pair of powder blue boxers. When Jack had been "Assssgard-napped" as Daniel called it, the young man had been too distraught to put on more than his underwear. His hair was mussed, and he was sweaty.   
  
It had been a long, frustrating two-weeks. Every time Jack and Daniel had tried to spend time together, something interrupted. Sam had asked Daniel to help with a project after hours, needing his special "outside of the box" way of thinking; their neighbor Mrs. Valissi's son and his partner had come from Europe for a visit and she absolutely insisted they spend an evening together; and then there was all that stuff with the Amazon-like women on the alien planet.   
  
Jack and Daniel had been so frustrated by their separation at that point that they joked openly about mating rituals there. It was a sort of public verbal foreplay, brought about by desperation. Even Sam saw through it, not being able to contain her laughter as they travelled the alien terrain.  
  
If that wasn't enough, shortly thereafter, Daniel had been captured and tortured in Honduras, and Jack had pulled out all the stops to rescue him. Daniel still had some nightmares about it, but they were often as much about the torment Jack had gone through rescuing him as they had been about his own experience.   
  
Then Daniel had to work triple duty, doing his own job with SG-1, heading the Archaeology Department, and filling in for Doug Landon, who was doing research on special projects as a liaison with Area 51. Landon was on his honeymoon, and Daniel had been drafted to continue the research during Landon's absence.   
  
As a result, Daniel had worked late every night, and in his usual "have to get it done" sense of urgency, had slept very little, getting no more than eight hours sleep in the last three days. He was living on caffeine.   
  
Finally, Jack and Daniel had time to be together and then this, interrupted at the pivotal moment of their union, by Thor. Daniel was angry, frustrated, and totally exhausted.   
  
He had intended to spend the night with his lover, collapse in his arms, and finally get some sleep. Jack and Daniel were on downtime now that Landon was back, Ishta's people were welcoming the SGC's help with the Tretonin, and the aftermath of the events in Honduras were over. They would have slept in, made love again, slept a while, and made love some more.   
  
Instead, Daniel was ready to collapse from fatigue, not from love making, and was angrier and more exasperated than he had ever been in his life.   
  
Daniel paced rapidly around the bedroom he shared with his lover, his abducted lover who was now **who knows where**.   
  
Daniel moved his hands wildly into the air as he spoke. Actually, he yelled his frustration into the air.  
  
"Thor, I mean it. This is one freakin' time too many. THOR! GET ... YOUR ... LITTLE ... GRAY... BUTT ... DOWN ... HERE ... NOW!!"  
  
With a zap of energy, Daniel found himself transported to Thor's ship. Standing in front of him was the Asgard leader, a few other members of the Asgard council, and strutting towards him was his lover, with a big smile that turned into one of alarm, causing Jack to stop and face Thor instead.  
  
"C'mon, Thor. Don't you think you could have dressed him like you did me?"  
  
"He was ... impatient, O'Neill," the small alien answered. Jack shook his head and walked over to his scantily-dressed lover, shielding him as much as possible from the gawking aliens.  
  
"Danny, you made it."  
  
"I made it? Like I had a choice here, Jack?"  
  
"Calm down, Danny. Thor needs my help with ..."  
  
"I don't freakin' care, Jack. I'm getting tired of this."  
  
"My apologies, Dr. Jackson. It was not my intention to interfere, but Colonel O'Neill's assistance in this matter is of the utmost importance. It was vital we speak with him as soon as possible."  
  
"Thor, haven't you ever heard of KNOCKING? I mean, oh I don't know what I mean, just ... just ..."   
  
Daniel walked around in a circle, grumbling and grunting to no one in particular as Jack and the Asgard watched curiously.  
  
"Thor, Buddy, would you and your pals mind giving Daniel and I a few minutes alone?"  
  
"As you wish." Thor and the council zapped themselves out of the room as Jack approached the still muttering linguist.  
  
"Danny, I'm sorry. It was ... bad timing, but you know Thor's an ally, a powerful one, and we can't ignore him."  
  
"I know, Jack. I met him first, remember? No, why should you. No one else does. Little gray butt ignores me like everyone else."  
  
Daniel knew that comment was out of line, but he couldn't think straight. He was too tired and too irate to care about being rational.  
  
"Danny, I don't ignore you, and neither does anyone else. You know that. Now what's the problem?"  
  
Daniel muttered incoherently, causing Jack to laugh slightly.  
  
"What was that, Dr. Jackson? I couldn't make that out."  
  
Daniel turned to face his lover. "I just want him to use a little ... decorum, Jack. Certainly, the fate of the world can wait a few minutes ... until after we ... we ... grrrrrr."  
  
Daniel looked down, his arms in his patented self-hug mode. His feet were moving as if tapping the floor.  
  
"...finish?", Jack laughed, moving in to embrace his disgruntled partner in life, encircling his heart with strong, understanding arms.  
  
"Thor doesn't understand the concept of ... knocking, Daniel."  
  
"Well, teach him, Jack. He seems to listen to you." Daniel said into Jack's shoulder.  
  
Jack continued to hold Daniel, rubbing his bare back tenderly, kissing his nape, until the tension began to lessen. Daniel finally turned his head and laid it on his lover's shoulder, his right hand finding its way inside Jack's blue shirt to wantonly stroke Jack's chest.   
  
"At least he gave you some clothes," Daniel sniped.   
  
But then he drew a deep breath, feeling Jack's loving hands soothe him, and added, "I'm sorry, Jack. I'm just so tired, and was counting on us having this time together, and ... and I just wish Thor had better timing. Honestly, Jack, how many times has he ... interrupted us now?"  
  
"Hmm, five, six times, but you know how I am with numbers."  
  
"Teach him to knock, Jack. They must have a ... a ..."  
  
"... doorbell," both men said at the same time, with little chuckles escaping.  
  
"I'll talk to him, Danny. I promise."   
  
Jack nibbled Daniel's upper lip, but before he could do more, his eager soul mate's tongue demanded entrance into Jack's mouth, and the two were quickly involved in a passionate round of kissing, their bodies desperately wanting to graft together.  
  
"O'Neill, we must leave now."  
  
"Thor, you are related to Carter, aren't you? She's adopted, and Jacob isn't really her father. That has to be it."  
  
"I do not understand."  
  
"Your timing sucks, Thor, just like Carter's."   
  
Sam was always walking in on Jack and Daniel at inopportune moments, and Jack shuddered just thinking about how close she had come to catching them "in the act" on more than one occasion.  
  
Daniel hadn't said anything. He moved back out of Jack's embrace when he heard Thor speak, and was currently staring at the **little gray floor that looks just like those little gray butts that I really wish would just leave us the freakin' alone.**   
  
He wasn't being rational, and he knew it, but he and Jack had paid their dues and **was it really too much to ask for a little consideration before just beaming Jack up?**.  
  
"Danny ..."  
  
"Go, Jack ... go ... do ... whatever it is the little ... Thor needs you to do. And YOU, Thor, had better make sure he comes back in one piece, ALIVE, and ... and ... soon."  
  
"That is always our intention, Dr. Jackson."  
  
"Yes, I know, just like the Tok'ra," Daniel mocked silently, choosing to say a more tolerant, "Thank you, Thor" aloud.  
  
"We must go, O'Neill. Dr. Jackson, we will transport you back to where you were now."  
  
"Whatever you say, Thor. Jack, I ..."  
  
With that, Daniel found himself back in his bedroom, just as frustrated as when Thor had transported him up to the ship. "Dang little gray butts," the young man muttered as he flung himself onto the bed, sleep finally claiming him.  
  
  
  
A few hours later, Daniel awoke, still alone in the all-too-big-for-just-one-man king sized bed. With a grunt, he slowly walked downstairs to the kitchen and made some coffee.   
  
"Little gray aggravating butts," Daniel muttered waiting for his caffeine fix to brew to completion.  
  
Daniel wandered around the house, ending up in the recently redecorated study. Taking a seat in the elaborate leather chair he had purchased for his lover, Daniel turned on the massager and sat back, hoping the kneading action would relax him. The pulsar sensations felt good on his back, "but not as good as Jack's fingers," Daniel sighed aloud.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Daniel turned off the massager, readjusted the chair slightly, and placed his coffee on the desk. He leaned forward and powered on the computer, and then began a new entry in his computer diary, a diary he someday hoped to share with others, helping them to understand that the love he and Jack shared was beautiful, not ugly and wrong as some in society would claim.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//   
  
The Asgard. Where would we be without them? I'm not sure actually, but we'd probably be in a worse situation than we are now with the Goa'uld and the Replicators.   
  
The first time we learned that Thor was real and not simple mythology was on Cimmeria. It was BJ, no, not blow job, Before Jack, before he and I knew that we were forever.   
  
That was the time when the hammer device trapped Jack and Thor in the underground complex, and I had to destroy the hammer in order to free Teal'c. It came at a high price. Destroying the hammer had taken away the one chance I had of saving Sha're.   
  
My beautiful wife was still alive then, the unwilling host to a monster symbiote. I didn't have a choice, but that fact didn't take away the pain I felt.  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
"Sha're," Daniel said aloud. His life was so different now than it was back then, when the incident with Thor's Hammer occurred. Daniel went to the kitchen for a fresh cup of coffee and stood for a moment in front of the kitchen window overlooking the backyard.   
  
"I'm ... I'm sorry, Sha're. You deserved more. I thought I could be what you needed, what you wanted, but how could I be that when I didn't even realize who I was?"   
  
Daniel closed his eyes in silent reflection, visualizing his beautiful wife. He hadn't really thought about her in a while, and he felt guilty.   
  
Daniel was so happy in his life with Jack. It completed him, made him feel vital and important. He loved Sha're, but it had been different with her, It was good, but it wasn't the consuming passion that he had with Jack.  
  
"You would have found someone, Sha're, someone who could have treasured and cherished you the way you deserved. I ... I know it. I wish..."  
  
Daniel's voice trailed off. He regretted so much that she never had what he had found, that one love that made you a part of another person. It wasn't just a sharing, but an engulfing of another soul, a synergy that was more powerful than anything that could ever be imagined.  
  
Bells rang in Daniel's mind. Opening his eyes, the young man realized it was the phone.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Dr. Jackson?" The person on the other seemed surprised to hear Daniel's voice.  
  
"Um, yes, Sir. General Hammond?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Son, I wasn't expect you to be answering Colonel O'Neill's phone at this time of the morning."  
  
**Time?** He had no clue what time it was. He spun around to look at the clock. 4:30 a.m.  
  
"Yes, Sir, well, I ... we ...," Daniel fumbled, suddenly tired from seeing the time on the clock, "pizza."  
  
"Pizza, Dr. Jackson?"  
  
"We had ... pizza last night and I ... it was late, so I stayed over ... in the spare room."  
  
"Jackson, you are such an idiot," Daniel chided himself for volunteering unnecessary information, **stupid unnecessary information** that was also a lie. His stomach constricted as his body tensed from anxiety.  
  
"Yes, I understand, Son."   
  
There was something in the General's tone that disturbed Daniel ... a ... softness or maybe it was an understanding.  
  
"Dr. Jackson, I need to speak with Colonel O'Neill."  
  
"He's ... he's not here, General. Thor ... sent for him."  
  
"Thor?"  
  
"I don't really know what it was about; only that Thor said Jack's assistance was vital. I ... I don't even know when he'll be back."  
  
"I see."  
  
"General Hammond, is something wrong?"  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid there is, but don't worry, Son. Everything is under control. Tell Jack to call me as soon as he gets in."  
  
"Yes, Sir, I will. Did you need me to come in, I mean, if something's wrong ...?"  
  
"No, Dr. Jackson. This is one of those frustrating Pentagon messes. Earth is safe."  
  
"That's good to hear, General. Goodnight, er Morning ... whatever."  
  
"Same to you, Son. I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to sleep."  
  
"Thank you, General."  
  
Daniel hung up the phone, shaking his head. "You are such an idiot, Jackson," the words spoken aloud.   
  
Daniel threw himself on the couch, face down, shouting "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" into the sofa cushion as he tried to bury his face. He groaned and turned over onto his back, replaying his conversation with Hammond in his mind.   
  
"Well, if he didn't know before, Jack, I think he does now," Daniel said softly.   
  
Shifting his focus, Daniel renewed his anger, "Freakin' little gray butts. BRING JACK HOME NOW," he shouted, knowing he wouldn't get a response.   
  
"I am so freakin' tired of this," he sighed as he rose from the couch and finally got the cup of coffee he had come in for earlier.  
  
Daniel returned to his seat in the study, taking another sip of coffee before setting the cup on the desk. He wondered what would prompt such an early morning phone call from the General, but then again, it wasn't the first time the General had chosen to call Jack at odd hours, so he decided he might as well stop worrying and continue working on the diary entry.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//  
  
The first time we actually met Thor was the following year when we went back to Cimmeria. Gairwyn had sent us an S.O.S. via the Sagan Institute Box we had left with her to give to the Asgard. It was obvious she and her people were in trouble, because of what we had done by destroying Thor's Hammer.   
  
Convincing General Hammond that we needed to return to the planet and provide assistance didn't take much but a bit of SG-1 team unity:  
  
Teal'c began, "The destruction of the hammer device to save my life may have caused this. If so, I am responsible."  
  
Jack used the command argument, "General, I gave the order."  
  
"And I fired the staff at the machine," adding my contribution to our reasoning.  
  
"And I was there," Sam chimed in, needing to say something.  
  
So back we went. The Jaffa, no longer barred from Cimmeria by the hammer, were attacking the planet. While Jack and Teal'c tried to fend off the invading Goa'uld, Sam and I followed Gairwyn to Thor's Hall of Might, hoping to find some secret weapon we could use to protect Cimmeria.   
  
Before we could find the weapon, we had to pass a series of tests to prove our worth, the first was for sacrifice and courage, the last a riddle to show our wisdom. The answer turned out to be as easy as pi, and yes, I mean pi, the mathematical element, not Jack's favorite apple pie. My Jack loves pie, but that's neither here nor there.   
  
At the conclusion of the tests, we were surprised when the large Viking image we had been viewing as Thor gave way to a short, three-foot tall alien with a little gray butt.   
  
"I am the actual one whom you know as Thor," he spoke.   
  
He wasn't happy when I told him we had destroyed the hammer. Maybe it's why he doesn't seem to like me much. Thor is always ignoring me. He loves Jack, though.   
  
"Weapons?"   
  
Thor was even less thrilled when we asked for weapons. I tried to explain that we didn't mean to interfere, but he didn't want to listen, and we were transported back into the woods.   
  
Jack was going to be disappointed when I told him the entire adventure was a bust, and I was right; he definitely was not a happy camper. I had let him down, and I hated myself for that. It wasn't just Jack, it was all of Cimmeria. I had destroyed the hammer. Me. Now, they were close to being overrun by the Goa'uld.  
  
We surrendered when the Jaffa backed us into a corner, not wanting to endanger the lives of the children. As we walked to wherever we were being taken, I quipped, "Before they rode into battle, the Sioux used to say 'this is a good day to die".   
  
Jack hit me, so I got back at him when Thor came to the rescue, zapping Jaffa all over the planet. As we stood gaping at the Biliskner, the Asgard mother ship, I channeled My Jack, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I think this is Thor's Chariot." He hates it when I do that!  
  
Thor told Gairwyn they would build a new hammer, and an exception would be made for Teal'c, and all was well that ended well.  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
Daniel shivered. It was 5:45 a.m. and his body finally registered the early morning cold. It was only now that he remembered he was dressed only in boxers.  
  
He went upstairs, and put on his navy blue sweatpants and started to put on his sweatshirt, but changed his mind, walking over to Jack's side of the bed and picking up his lover's gray sweatshirt that he had peeled off in the early throws of their lovemaking the night before.   
  
Daniel put on the sweatshirt, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. He raised the front of the shirt to his face and inhaled, even while thinking it was a ridiculous thing to do. Daniel could smell the scent of his lover on the clothing and somehow, it made him feel closer to Jack.  
  
Speaking loudly into the emptiness of the room, Daniel threatened, "So help me, Thor, you'd better bring him home healthy, or you'll have me to deal with."  
  
Letting out a sad sigh, his shoulders drooped. Daniel slowly trod down the stairs and headed for the kitchen in search of another caffeine fix, but the lure of the roof called to him, and without thinking, he opened the patio door and climbed up the ladder to the rooftop.   
  
He sank down to the ground, leaning against the house, his knees pulled up towards his chest. The air was chilly, the sky losing its darkness as daylight neared.  
  
Daniel closed his eyes and thought about all the moments he and Jack had spent sitting on the roof, sharing their souls and their love.   
  
Their first night together had begun on the roof deck, looking out at the heavens, so grateful to be alive, and together. Each had thought the other had died while saving Earth from the attacking fleet under Apophis' rule, but they had survived, and when Jack saw Daniel and called him Space Monkey, Daniel could only grin. They could no longer run from their love, nor did they want to.  
  
It had been cold outside, not much different than it was now, but the crispness of the air made the two feel alive.   
  
"I love you, Jackm" Daniel spoke to the night air as he thought about that night. His head bowed forward to his knees, Daniel briefly visualized that one special shooting star that had finally united the two in love and smiled.  
  
Daniel looked up at the stars, a joy swelling in his heart as he remembered the wonder of that first night. It had been perfect. Well, maybe not perfect in the physical sense, not completely, but the night had been full of passion and love, and a commitment that Jack and Daniel would be united for all time.   
  
Their love had grown so much until being apart for any stretch of time caused physical ache, the kind Daniel was feeling now, being separated from his partner by some alien with a little gray butt.  
  
"Jack."   
  
The word was spoken quietly into the air.   
  
"So help me, Jack, if that little gray butt doesn't get you back here soon, I may strangle him myself the next time I see him. Hear that Thor!"   
  
The sun was rising now. Daniel rose and finally went down to the kitchen to get his coffee. He knew he should eat something, but his appetite was wherever his lover was, **somewhere out there in a galaxy far, far away.**  
  
Daniel knew he couldn't sleep, so headed back to the computer in the study and continued to write about the Asgard.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//  
  
The next year, Thor began his snatching game, the one that has me sitting here typing in this dang computer diary instead of being snuggled up in the arms of my lover. Freakin' little gray butts. But that's another story. Where was I? Oh, yes, the next time we met up with Thor, the SGC was being honored for stopping Hathor's latest scheme, and Sam was promoted to major.   
  
We were all happy for her, but as Jack was making his speech, he suddenly disappeared. I stood there looking like a guppy, staring at the space where my lover had been standing just a second before. My heart had stopped beating, and I felt frozen in time.  
  
Thor told Jack that Earth was in danger, but that the Asgard were willing to cover our sixes, making Earth one of the Protected Planets. We'd be safe from Goa'uld invasions, but it would come at a high price, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  
  
Jack hadn't met Thor. I had, but as I said before, Thor doesn't seem to like me very much.   
  
When Jack disappeared, the base went on full alert. No one had a clue what had happened. I ended up in my office, totally at a loss. I laid down on my bunk, my head throbbing from the ache of wondering where my lover was. I hadn't even taken my jacket off. I shut my eyes and then I heard his voice, and my heart began to beat once again.   
  
"Hey, Danny." Jack walked in, closed the door, and sat down beside me on the bunk.  
  
"Jack? What? Where?"   
  
I could barely speak, but I sprang up and kissed him, my arms wrapping around his neck. The answers to my questions could wait.  
  
"Missed me, huh?"  
  
"Jack where the heck where you?"  
  
"With Thor, and actually, Love, we need to go get Hammond and the others. Big stuff happening, and it's way over my head."  
  
"Thor?"  
  
Jack stood up, extending his hand down for me. I took hold of his hand as I sat up, and for a moment, we both stood there, hands joined, just looking in each other's eyes. Finally, Jack tugged on my hand, pulling me up and towards the door, still holding my hand.  
  
"Actually, Danny, Thor reminds me of you."  
  
"Jack, he's three-feet tall and gray."  
  
"It's his voice. He ... he sounds like you in some ways. The way he pronounces his words so precisely."  
  
"If you say so, Jack."  
  
Jack began to open the door.  
  
"Hmm, Jack."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My ... hmm, my hand. You're still ..."  
  
"Oh, sorry. Well, not really, but you know."  
  
I smiled because yes, I did know. He squeezed my hand and kissed me quickly, before opening the door.   
  
"Off to find the wizard, Daniel."  
  
"The wizard?"  
  
"Hammond, of course."  
  
We met in the conference room, and poof, there was Thor. He ignored me again, telling Jack they had selected him to be their representative. My Love wasn't thrilled with that. Diplomacy wasn't his long suit. He tried to tell Thor that I was better qualified, but again, Thor ignored me completely. It must have been the weapons line. He really doesn't seem to like me very much.   
  
He had never even met Jack, and hey, I was at least honest when we told him about destroying the hammer on Cimmeria. Sometimes I wonder if that honesty being the best policy thing is more for the birds than mankind, or maybe it should be alienkind.  
  
The System Lords came and our hands were full. Teal'c had a revenge thing going with Cronus for killing his father, and Nirrti, well, we weren't fond of her. She was the one responsible for the deaths of everyone on Cassandra's planet. Yu was the third System Lord. He seemed to be the most rational, but that may also make him the most dangerous.  
  
My Jack, bless him, tried his best to be Mr. Diplomacy, but the meeting had barely started when all three System Lords indignantly filed by me where I waited.   
  
"Excuse me, sorry for interrupting. What just happened?," I asked entering the meeting room.   
  
Poor Jack. His crime was speaking out of turn while the System Lords bickered. Thor told Jack and I about some unknown enemy they were fighting (turned out to be the Replicators we would unfortunately meet up with later), and then I nudged Jack.  
  
"Let's go, Jack. We have to figure out how to get the negotiations back on track."  
  
"And how do we do that?"  
  
"You grovel!"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes, Jack, you. Let's go."  
  
I composed a letter for him and Jack signed it, and the negotiations were back on. Nirrti, however, put a stop to things when she tried to kill Cronus and Teal'c.   
  
In the end, Jack bluffed the System Lords, taking a page out of the Asgard methodology on how to handle the Goa'uld. Jack pulled it off beautifully, and Nirrti bought the act that we knew for a fact she was lying and was able to use technology unbeknownst to the other System Lords to become invisible. Sam managed to corner Nirrti, and we turned her over to the very angry and vengeful Cronus and Yu.  
  
As a thank you of sorts, Cronus and Yu agreed to make Earth a Protected Planet without requiring us to give up the Stargate. They left with a threat, but for the moment, Earth was safe.  
  
"Boy is she gonna get it," I said as the System Lords departed.  
  
"My heart bleeds," Jack mocked as he walked behind me as we exited the gate room.  
  
"Jack, what was the Biliskner like?"  
  
"Gray. Big. I didn't see much of it. Mainly just talked with Thor."  
  
"He likes you."  
  
Suddenly, I felt my arm tug, and before I knew it Jack had pulled us both into a darkened storage room.   
  
"It's cold in here."  
  
"Don't worry, Love. I'll warm you up."   
  
And he did with a kiss that made my mouth feel like it would fall off.  
  
"Wow!"  
  
"I'll take that as a good review."  
  
"Oh, definitely."  
  
"Home?"  
  
"Home, definitely, home, Colonel. Home. Now."  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
Daniel yawned as he hit the save button on the keyboard.   
  
"Home."   
  
Daniel said the word softly as he stared at the computer monitor. Daniel had found his home years ago, and his home was Jack O'Neill.   
  
Daniel was feeling punchy. As he reread his entry, he realized how personal it was, how many potshots he had taken at the allies. He liked the Asgard, and Thor, but sleep deprivation and stress were beginning to take a toll on him that even his endless supply of Starbuck's coffee couldn't cure.  
  
He decided he needed to stop thinking about "freakin' little gray butts", so he decided to lose himself in household chores.   
  
He vacuumed, dusted, did the laundry, and re-papered the kitchen cupboards. He cleaned the kitchen floor, took out the trash, and even prepared a couple of casserole dishes that he and Jack could quickly heat up during the week.   
  
As he placed the casseroles in the freezer and looked at the spotless kitchen and living room, Daniel smirked, "My, aren't I the good little housewife?"   
  
It was 1 p.m., and Daniel was now feeling snarky in addition to being punchy, mumbling something about "big eyed skeletal midgets with little gray butts" as he turned his attention to the outside of the house, still in search of anything to keep his mind off those **abducting annoying little gray aggravating butts.**   
  
He mowed the lawn, pulled some weeds, trimmed the hedges, and washed both his car and Jack's truck. He even cleaned the dog's doghouse.  
  
Back inside the house, Daniel made another batch of coffee. He grabbed an apple to snack on, or truth be told, just to be able to tell Jack he had eaten something during the day.   
  
Feeling a little grungy from his activities, Daniel took another shower, but needing the scent of his lover on him, he redressed in Jack's favorite gray sweatshirt which was the same sweatshirt Jack had been wearing their first night together as lovers, and put on a new pair of jeans.   
  
He laid down on the bed, longing for his lover's touch. Sleep claimed him for a short while.   
  
As he opened his weary eyes, Daniel knew Jack was still gone or he would have been awakened by a kiss, or two or three or four. He looked at the clock -- 6 p.m. He had gotten a whopping one hour of rest. His mind just wouldn't stop, not even in sleep.   
  
Daniel needed some air, so he took Bijou and Katie, their beagles, for a brisk walk around the block, and when he returned, he found himself back in the study, typing more into his computer diary.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//  
  
As I laid on the infirmary bed recovering from having my appendix removed, Jack came by before leaving on his fishing trip. He didn't want to go, but we were playing a game at the time, hiding in plain sight.   
  
As he said goodbye, I wanted to shout, "Don't go," but I was the one who had convinced him the trip was necessary in the first place.   
  
Sometimes I think too much for my own good.   
  
I didn't find out for quite a while that Thor had once again beamed into our lives. When I found out what was going on, I wanted to strangle that little gray butt for taking Jack away from me, putting him into a situation where he might not be able to come back, and my last words to him were ... were what?   
  
It was such a silly conversation, practically staged. I can't even remember what we said. And that is what that little gray butt almost cost me ... a lifetime of not even remembering my last words with my partner in life.  
  
When we went to DefCon2 with orders to destroy the unidentified incoming object that was plummeting to Earth, Hammond actually apologized to me for ordering the potential death of my lover. No, he didn't know about Jack and I, but he knew we were close. He saw how unsteady I was, the paleness of my skin. I felt sick. I was sick.   
  
The General and Paul both watched over me as the fireball made its way through the atmosphere, staring, watching to see what I would do. The General kept trying to get me to go to the infirmary or get some rest, but I couldn't leave the control room. I had to be there.  
  
For hours, I sat in an uncomfortable chair, unable to move, staring at the now-missing Stargate which we assumed SG-1 had transported to their location, until finally Janet came up with one of her goons and ordered me to my office to relax "Or, Dr. Jackson, I can have Frank here escort you to the infirmary where I will give you a complete checkup."   
  
Little Napoleon won the battle. After all, what else was there for me to do?  
  
Eight days after the Biliskner was destroyed, my lover returned. I ran to the Stargate. Poor Sam. She'd be working overtime covering up for Jack and I, but I couldn't help it.   
  
My appendix had almost killed me, Thor had taken Jack from me unexpectedly, and then, My Jack had almost died aboard the Asgard vessel. I needed to see him, to watch him walk down that ramp. It would be hard to act calm, like ... a best friend and not like a soul mate in distress, but I could do it.   
  
I just had to get there first, so I ran through the halls of the SGC, bumping into faceless Marines, Sgt. Siler, and walls until finally, I was where I needed to be ... at the foot of the ramp.  
  
When Jack walked through the gate, I couldn't help but smile. We held back though, didn't even touch. We knew if we did, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" wouldn't matter because no one would have to ask or tell; they would have seen first hand a full scale demonstration of just how together and forever Jack and Daniel are.  
  
Jack showered and then we met in his office for a few minutes before the briefing. I barely made it through the doorway, when the love of my life had me pinned against his office door, engaged in heavy duty lip lock. It was heated and passionate, and necessarily quick, and truth be told, it wasn't much. I was still recovering, and Jack wouldn't let me do what I wanted.   
  
"We have time, Danny. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"No fishing, O'Neill, not alone, never," I breathlessly spoke between kisses.   
  
"I didn't go fishing, Daniel."   
  
"I know, Jack, I'm just ... I don't know what I'm just, so just shut up and kiss me."  
  
I was practically incoherent, needing to feel him, to be a part of him, to have him all over me. We tried to get inside each other's skin as much as we could in five minutes, but it wasn't enough, and we had to stop, had to breakaway and go to the conference room. It was a living nightmare, our desire having to be placed on the back burner as we reported to the General.  
  
"Jack, I think maybe you need to sit by Sam in the briefing, and ... play it up a little."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I ... I thought I'd lost you, Jack," I spoke softly as I leaned my forehead against his. "I, um, was worried. Hammond saw, and Major Davis, and ... I tried, Jack, but ..."  
  
"It's okay, Danny."  
  
"No, it's not, but sometimes, Jack, it just doesn't matter."  
  
"I know, Love. C'mon, we need to get to the briefing or they'll come looking for us. We'll talk to Sam later, and let the rumor mills do their thing."  
  
I started to turn towards the door when Jack's lips suddenly found mine and I couldn't help myself. I flung my arms around him again, and pulled him close for one more long, hard kiss.  
  
"I love you, Danny."  
  
"Love you, too, Jack."  
  
One more quick kiss, and we were off to the conference room. Once again, things took a deadly turn, and once again, I watched my soul mate go off to battle evil while I had to stay behind. Dang Little Napoleon. I begged and pleaded, but she wouldn't take me off light duty. I needed to be with Jack.   
  
For the second time, we didn't get to say goodbye. Jack had gone to gear up, and I started to follow, but the General wanted to review a few things. I couldn't get away, and when Jack and Teal'c were ready to go, all we could do was exchange a look, a brief look. "I love you" was silently exchanged as Jack turned and left.   
  
Jack and Teal'c tried to take out the Replicators on the submarine, but it was too much for anyone to accomplish. He ordered me to blow up the sub, killing him and Teal'c. I was crying. I'm sure Paul saw. Probably Siler, too.   
  
I had to give the order, because they wouldn't do it. I mouthed Jack's name as I hit the moment of truth. I gave the order and became determined to watch every last moment of my love's life on the monitor. I refused to turn away.   
  
But then a miracle happened, and Jack and Teal'c were transported off the ship. Okay, maybe I can forgive Thor. I've been so angry at him today for interfering. He's always beaming Jack up at the worst times, and leaving me down here alone. I hate that.   
  
I hate being dismissed like I have no input into whatever the crisis is. But on that day, Thor became a hero. He saved My Jack, and transported him home to me.  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
Daniel saved the latest addition to his diary, and then stretched, his long arms reaching up towards the ceiling, his hands clasping together above his head. His well-built torso flexed as his muscles pulled. He yawned, prompting him to look at the clock. 8:30 p.m. Jack had been gone for 21 hours.  
  
Daniel stood up and paced back and forth for a few minutes, his anger rising once again. He and Jack had been making love when Thor zapped Jack away, and Daniel was certain it was done intentionally.   
  
**Okay, okay, so I'm getting paranoid, but after that first time, who could blame me?**  
  
The first time Thor had snatched Jack from his home was right after Teal'c had been brainwashed into thinking he was still First Prime of Apophis. SG-1 and Bra'tac had worked hard to help restore Teal'c's soul via the Rite of M'al Sharran. Fortunately, they were successful, and afterwards, Hammond had given the team three days of R & R.   
  
Jack and Daniel were celebrating, in bed, kissing, stroking, touching, teasing each other as their arousal grew. The comforter was on the foot of the bed as the men moved to the rhythm of their love. Daniel was on top of Jack, straddling him, leaning over, laying a line of kisses on his chest when suddenly a zap of light and energy entered their bedroom. They heard a whoosh and then ...  
  
"O'Neill, we require your assistance."  
  
Daniel hadn't moved. He looked over his shoulder at the tiny alien, gaping like a guppy, in total shock.  
  
"Thor, what the heck? ... Danny?"   
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You want to ..." Jack had motioned for Daniel to get off of him.  
  
"Oh, right. Sorry."   
  
The stunned lover carefully leaned back, grabbing hold of the comforter and rolled off of Jack, taking the comforter with him, holding it up to his neck as he sat on his side of the bed.  
  
"Thanks, Daniel," Jack said sarcastically, his body totally exposed as a result of Daniel's movements. Daniel simply smiled shyly.  
  
Jack got up and put on his sweats that had been flung to the ground when he and Daniel first got into bed.  
  
"Hello, Dr. Jackson," Thor said, finally acknowledging the archaeologist. "I hope you are well."  
  
"Yes, I am, I mean, Thank you, Thor."  
  
Fully dressed, Jack sat on the bed.  
  
"Thor, buddy, you can't tell anyone about this," Jack waved his hand over the bed and towards Daniel.  
  
"Why is that, O'Neill?"  
  
"It's ... just not a good idea."  
  
"I do not understand. Are you ashamed of what you are doing with Dr. Jackson?"  
  
Jack looked at Daniel, who hadn't stopped blushing since Thor whooshed into the room. Jack looked into his lover's eyes, making sure he was listening.  
  
"No, Thor, why would I be ashamed of the best part of my life? Daniel is the best part of me." Jack smiled at Daniel.  
  
"Then why do you wish me to ... remain quiet, as you say?"  
  
"Because," Jack's smile turned into a frown, "our society isn't as advanced in some areas where people, especially military types, are involved. We have some archaic, insane rules and well, same sex relationships are frowned upon. They aren't ... normal."  
  
"Normal? Are you saying normalcy on your world is based on who you love, and Earth has rules about this, O'Neill?"  
  
Jack shook his head from frustration, not at Thor, but at his world.   
  
"I guess it looks that way."  
  
"I see. I will honor your request, O'Neill, and hope that one day your world advances. You are still very young, but we have great hopes that Earth might one day be the fifth race."  
  
"Yeah, we've been told that ... about being young ... before, and in this case, Thor, I have to agree with you ..." Jack turned to look at Daniel again, reaching back with his hand to take hold of Daniel's, "... because I could never be ashamed of this, of what I feel, or of you, Danny. I love you, and I do wish we could tell the entire world, heck, the entire universe."  
  
Daniel was smiling with embarrassment, and wasn't sure how to respond to this semi-public affirmation of affection, so he did the only thing that seemed right.   
  
"I love you, too, Jack, with all my heart and all that I am."  
  
The two exchanged another smile and nod of agreement that they were forever, and then Jack returned his attention to Thor.  
  
"So, Thor, why did you drop in on us ... need someone dumber again?"  
  
Thor told Jack about some crisis among the Asgard regarding the Protected Planets policy, and Earth's status. Jack was summoned to answer criticism of opposing members of the council. Thor zapped Jack away for two and a half days, leaving Daniel behind to a very alone downtime.   
  
  
  
Hearing a bark at the patio door, Daniel was brought back to the present. He let the dogs into the house and they followed him quietly as he walked back to the study, muttering "Freakin' little gray butts" out loud.  
  
Thor always seemed to know the worst times to show up. There was always some excuse why it had to be at Jack's home, a secret, and Daniel was never invited to go.   
  
"He just doesn't like me," Daniel sighed, stress and weariness adding to his alien paranoia.  
  
Daniel laid down on the sofa in the study. He loved it's smooth leather feel. As he closed his eyes, he imagined Jack holding him in his arms, as he had done so often on this same couch, but instead of the warmth of his lover's body, it was Bijou and Katie who snuggled up to Daniel as sleep temporarily claimed him again.  
  
When Daniel opened his eyes next, it was 10:15 p.m.  
  
"Jack?", he called out automatically.   
  
Hearing nothing, Daniel roused the dogs who jumped off him. He stood up and searched the living room to no avail. Jack was still with Thor. Daniel opened the patio door, and Bijou and Katie both ran outside.   
  
"Freakin Asgard," Daniel muttered again as he sank down into Jack's favorite armchair.   
  
Realizing he wasn't achieving anything by sulking and that he was about to pass out from hunger, Daniel went to the kitchen to find something to eat. Nothing looked good. In desperation, he grabbed the box of Froot Loops and poured some into a bowl.   
  
Adding some milk, Daniel shook his head and said to whomever or whatever might be listening, "How crazy is this ... I'm eating freakin' Froot Loops and I hate Froot Loops! THOR -- I WANT JACK BACK NOW!"   
  
Nothing but silence. Daniel ate a few bites of the cereal and tossed the rest. He took a quick shower, and returned to the study, where he could focus on something besides his missing lover.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//   
  
When we went to K'tau, Thor was otherwise occupied, but we did meet Freyr, another Asgardian. The people on K'tau thought Freyr was a god. It was similar to Cimmeria with Freyr appearing as a tall Viking.   
  
The problem on this planet was of our own making. Actually, I guess the problem on Cimmeria was our fault too. I guess we've made a lot of mistakes, but at least we try to fix them and take responsibility for them.   
  
In any event, Sam had to finagle the dialing protocols to get us to K'tau. The result brought about disaster for the planet, introducing some unstable element into the K'tau world which was causing their sun to change. It was only a matter of time before the plant life, and the people would die.  
  
We contacted Freyr, and Jack spoke with the Asgard Council as Sam and I listened in. I admit, that this is where the "little gray butts" comes from. Jack was upset because the Asgard were refusing to help, and he let out with that line in the course of his "negotiations" with the council.  
  
Long story short, Sam wasn't sure whether or not her techno junk worked or not. Jack believed the Asgard came through. Me? The people of K'tau believed in prayer and their god, even if the Asgard were not gods.   
  
I'm ... open, I guess you could say. I'm not sure whether it was Sam, the Asgard, or some other all encompassing being, but the people were saved, and we were all relieved about that.  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
The phone rang, interrupting Daniel's review of his diary entry about K'tau.   
  
"Hello."  
  
"Dr. Jackson. This is General Hammond. Any word from Colonel O"Neill yet?"  
  
"Um, no, General, nothing yet. Thor ... he ... he's not very good at keeping me ... I mean, he doesn't do status reports."  
  
Daniel was mentally tired, and concerned about his lover. He normally did a better job of protecting their privacy, but he seemed to be bungling every sentence he spoke.  
  
"Are you all right, Son?"  
  
"I'm fine, Sir. I'm just ... I have some things to talk over with Jack, and I'm ..."  
  
Daniel was fidgeting. He didn't know what he was trying to say, but making excuses for questions the General wasn't asking was not smart, and he knew it.  
  
"Major Carter is on the base. I could have her call or come stay with you ..."  
  
Daniel didn't hear the end of Hammond's line. His mind stayed focused on "come stay with you". Was he being that obvious, he wondered?   
  
"Dr. Jackson?"  
  
"I'm sorry, General, um ... no, that won't be necessary. I'm fine, really. I'll have Jack call when he gets in."  
  
"Actually, Son, that's all been taken care of now. No need. I would like Colonel O'Neill to give me a full report, however, on his latest adventure with the Asgard."  
  
"I'll ... have him call to report, Sir."   
  
Daniel shocked himself at how depressed he sounded. Jack would come back only to have to report to Hammond which would mean not much of a reunion. Their downtime wasn't long enough as it was.  
  
"Monday will be fine, Dr. Jackson, unless there is something he feels can't wait, he can fill me next week."  
  
"Thank you. I'll tell him."   
  
Daniel wondered if the General could hear the sudden lift in his voice, the pleasure from knowing Jack wouldn't return only to have to do SGC business right away.  
  
The General hung up, and Daniel started silently berating himself for being so careless.   
  
**What an idiot, Jackson. You're going to blow it. He knows ... he knows because you are talking too freakin' much. Jack says you talk too much and he's right, so shut the freakin' up already.**  
  
Downing another cup of coffee and sucking in a Twinkie (**Yes, Jack, I ate ... even had desert**), he returned to the computer and noticed the time on the taskbar.   
  
General Hammond had called at 11 p.m., expecting to find Daniel there, if not Jack.   
  
"Oh for crying out loud," Daniel said, channeling his Jack.   
  
He didn't want to think about what it meant that the General not only didn't question that he was in Jack's house this late at night, but that he seemed to expect it, so Daniel turned his attention to the diary.  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//   
  
It's amazing how often Thor pops into our world. Sometimes we save him; sometimes he saves us. Last year, we met up with Thor during that mess with Simmons and Conrad. They had managed to negotiate their way out of jail and steal the Promethus while we gave their unsuspecting accomplice, a news reporter and her crew, a tour of the ship. Unfortunately, the camera crew turned out to work for Simmons.   
  
Long story short, Simmons and Conrad highjacked the ship with Sam and I aboard. My Jack was not a happy camper, and according to Paul, ripped into him furiously when he arrived at the ground facility. Jack panics when we get separated like that. Who am I kidding? I do the same thing. It's what I'm doing now as I write about our adventures with Thor.  
  
Eventually, Jack and Teal'c managed to use the X-303 (who names these things anyway?) to sneak in under the ship's radar, and boarded the ship undetected. It gets a bit confusing, but apparently Simmons and Conrad duked it out, and Simmons won, but Conrad's Goa'uld jumped into Simmons. Simmons attacked Jack and Teal'c, and somehow Teal'c managed to open the outer doors, and Simmons was sucked into outer space.  
  
Then, the bad news hit. We were somewhere in outer space, but we didn't know where. Sam said without knowing where we were, she didn't know how to get us home. Suddenly, Thor showed up. He ignored me again. I don't know why he doesn't like me, but he acted like I wasn't even there.   
  
At any rate, Thor asked for our help. The Replicators had overrun the Asgard home world. The Asgard had set a trap for the Replicators using a time dilation device that would essentially trap all of the Replicators in a bubble where time travelled much slower than real time. It's a bit confusing. Sam understands it though.   
  
The point was, the Asgard wanted us to fly into the area and repair the device which had been damaged. En route, Thor discovered the Replicators had actually reversed the device, meaning they were gaining experience and technology at a much greater pace than we were. We had to stop them. Thor left us at this point.  
  
When we arrived on the planet, we found the Replicators had taken human form. One of the creatures invaded the unconscious mind of My Jack. He cried out in pain, and I wanted to run to him, but I couldn't. Thirty-seven hours later we all woke up, each of us having relived some nightmare from our lives.   
  
Fortunately, Sam was able to convince one of the evolved Replicators to help us. We had to trick him, though, because the Replicators could read each other's minds and if he knew the exact plan, the others could find out. Jack didn't like doing it, and I challenged him on it, but he was right. We didn't really have a choice.  
  
We went home and watched the stars that night, grateful we were still together, alive and well.   
  
"We didn't have a choice, Danny. I know you think we used that thing's ... his ..."  
  
"Humanity, Jack. He trusted Sam."  
  
"He wasn't human, Daniel."  
  
"Jack, we went through this with Reese. We ... we won't agree on this, not completely."  
  
"Danny ..."  
  
I reached in and put my arm in his and laid my head on his shoulder.   
  
"Jack, it's okay. You did what you thought you had to do to save us, and Earth. We can 'what if' to death, Jack. The Replicators were evolving. I know that. I'm not ... angry. I wish we didn't have to lie to him, because yes, I did see his humanity, but ... just like with Reese, I know you didn't have a choice."  
  
"I don't deserve you, Danny."  
  
"No, you don't, but you're stuck with me anyway."  
  
"Gee, thanks."  
  
"Danny, I am sorry. I really wish I could see things the way you do."  
  
"I don't. Jack, we are who we are. You've told me over and over that you don't want me to lose my ideals or morality. You've even gone so far as to regret that I ... well, that I can be military when I have to, now. I don't want you to be anyone but who you are either, Jack. You're an intelligent, compassionate, strong person and you have a giant sized heart, O'Neill. You just try and hide it from others."  
  
"Not from you."  
  
"You can't."  
  
"Wouldn't want to."  
  
"I love you, Jack, even if you do prefer big honkin' guns over artifacts."  
  
"Love you, Danny."  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
Darkness had overtaken the sky, and Daniel could see the half-moon from the window in the study. He walked over to the sofa, and sat down, looking up at the stars, wondering how long Thor was going to keep his lover away from him.   
  
A peek at the clock revealed it was now 1 a.m. Yesterday had been one very long day, and today wasn't looking any better. Jack had been gone for 25 1/2 hours, "But who's counting," Daniel rebuffed in his mind.  
  
After a while, Daniel walked to the living room and fed their fish.   
  
"Hey fishies, hungry?"   
  
He watched them swim around, taking turns coming to the top to take in the nourishment. He watched the fish with fascination, needing something to focus his mind on, but then one of the fish came to the edge of the tank, and Daniel could swear he was staring at him, almost glaring at him for forgetting to feed the fish earlier.   
  
"Sorry about the late feeding. I'm a little ... depressed at the moment."   
  
The fish seemed to listen, so Daniel continued.   
  
"Okay, Jack's gone and I'm sorta feeling ... sappy about it, okay?"   
  
The fish turned and swam around the tank. Daniel laughed, "Don't like sappy, huh?"  
  
He strolled outside to take in the late night air. As it was the night before, it was cold, but the stingy breeze served a purpose, making the young man feel alive when inside he felt dead without his lover.   
  
He looked back at the house, their house. His name was on the property title now. Daniel felt like he finally had it all, almost.   
  
"I wonder what you'd say, Jack, if you knew."   
  
Daniel's right foot reached out over a rough patch of green lawn, patting it.   
  
Bijou and Katie stuck their heads out of the door to their deluxe dog house. Jack had built the house himself, after doing lots of research on the best type of design to keep them warm and comfortable. Thinking of Jack spending all that time just to make sure their babies, "their children", had a proper home warmed Daniel's heart.  
  
He looked over at them and smiled.   
  
"It's okay. He'll be home soon. Go back to sleep."   
  
As if they understood every word, Bijou and Katie went back inside and curled up side by side into little balls.  
  
Daniel stood quietly, taking in their house, thinking about their dogs, remembering the years of happiness he and Jack had shared together. Daniel finally had a home, in spirit and in reality. But there was still one more thing Daniel wanted. He just didn't know what Jack would think, not really.   
  
They'd joked about it lightly on their anniversary a few months before.   
  
"Jack, are we engaged," Daniel had asked teasingly, and Jack had responded, "Danny, Love, I think we've been engaged from the day we met."   
  
But beyond their light discussion of that night and a few scattered comments over the years, they'd never seriously talked about it. They were forever, Jack and Daniel, and Daniel knew it, but he wanted the tradition, as much as they could have anyway.  
  
Daniel shivered in the night air, his heart full of longing. He should tell Jack, but then again, Jack wasn't retired because Daniel had insisted they keep fighting the Goa'uld and searching for the Lost City.   
  
He sighed, "I want it all, Jack. How crazy is that?"   
  
Daniel wondered how he could tell Jack his secret desire when there was no way they could make it happen.  
  
Disheartened by his thoughts and confusion over whether or not to tell Jack his feelings, Daniel went back inside the house and refilled his coffee. The young man was drained, both physically and mentally. He didn't quite understand how he was still functioning, but he headed towards the study, intending to work some more on the computer diary, but his frustration took a hold of him once again.   
  
He stopped for a moment, and shouting upward, Daniel yelled, "DANG YOU, THOR. THIS ISN'T FAIR. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS. I WANT MY JACK BACK ... AND IT HAD BETTER BE SOON ... AND ... AND ... AND YOU HEAR ME, THOR, HE'D BETTER BE IN ONE PIECE!"  
  
Then he glanced over at a video shelf full of some of Jack's favorite films. On the shelf he noticed, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and next to it "Independence Day". A wicked smile passed through Daniel's lips.  
  
He made his way to the garage, and found a box marked "Halloween". He pulled out a plastic bag and found the air plug. Blowing through the device, it wasn't long before he had finished, and he securely fastened the stopper into the plug so that no air would escape.  
  
He took the inflated item into the house and stood there looking at it.   
  
"What to use?," he said aloud.   
  
"Jack's gun? A kitchen knife? Shades of Psycho. Yeah, that'll work."   
  
Daniel wasn't acting rationally, his fatigue and stress at Jack's absence taking its toll. He was an archaeologist who was missing his most precious artifact, and after four days of little rest, rationality wasn't high on his list of priorities. He wanted ... Jack, but not having Jack, he wanted ... "revenge," Daniel chortled. His Mr. Hyde personality rushed to the surface.  
  
Daniel walked to the kitchen and picked up a knife, but staring at the object upon his return, he changed his mind.   
  
**It would be over to quick.**  
  
A light bulb went off in his mind, and Daniel went to the hall closet and took out a four-foot duster, the kind that is used to get cobwebs down when cleaning.   
  
He put the inflated item on the floor and made sure he was away from anything breakable. Daniel took the duster and held it in his hands.   
  
"This is so going to destroy my image," he spoke matter of factly. Then he laughed, "Hey, who's going to know?"  
  
With that, Daniel took the duster and whacked the blown up doll, which was the mirror image of Thor. It was exactly three feet tall and had the same big oval eyes like Thor. It was even gray in color.   
  
He and Jack had run across it years ago while wandering through a sci fi memorabilia store at a mall in Los Angeles. It was supposed to represent the typical American conception of an alien in Roswell, the infamous Area 51 of popular legend. They both had marveled that in actuality, it looked a heck of a lot like Thor and couldn't resist buying it.   
  
Every year they had used it to decorate their home during Halloween. It had always made for a good laugh during the SGC costume party, too.  
  
Daniel spent the next several minutes swatting, hitting, thumping, and otherwise attacking the plastic figure.   
  
"LITTLE GRAY BUTT ... swat ... I WANT ... hit ... MY JACK ... kick ... BACK NOW! ... thwap ... DO YOU HEAR ME ... toss across the room ... YOU LITTLE GRAY BUTT ... swat?"  
  
His therapeutic assault continued until his arms hurt from the violent movements. He took a final whack, and then, not caring about the repercussions, he grabbed the kitchen knife and flung it towards the object. It hit dead center, and air wheezed out audibly from the "dying" alien.  
  
Daniel sank to the carpet floor and watched until his "Thor" was nothing but a layer of plastic, crumpled near the couch.   
  
"Sometimes I hate you, Thor."   
  
He sat there motionless, staring at the "dead" Thor for several minutes.   
  
**I'm sorry.**   
  
Finally, Daniel stood up.   
  
"Geez, Jack."   
  
Daniel said aloud, pushing Mr. Hyde back into the deepest recesses of his being. He shook his head at what he'd done. It was a momentary release, and yet he still felt the need to escape. He wanted to sleep, but knew he wouldn't be able to, so he returned to his escape of words, leaving the evidence of his attack where it had "died".  
  
//Beginning of Daniel's Diary//   
  
It was only a few months ago that the little gray butts butted in again, and this time did some permanent damage. They cloned My Jack. It was a nightmare. The only reason we found out about it was because there had been a defect in the clone. It ... he ... didn't age.   
  
Jack and I had gone home after a long day at the SGC and pigged out on Chinese. There was a documentary I had wanted to see so we settled on the couch, and decided we'd clean up later. Jack was sitting and I was lying down, my head on his lap. I love my personal Jack pillow; always warm and comfy, but that's neither here nor there. We watched the show and then I remembered.  
  
"Jack, I forgot. I can't believe I forgot."   
  
I shot up off the couch.  
  
"Danny, what?"  
  
"SG-15 is going to PC8-929 tomorrow and I was supposed to finish that translation in time for Franklin to study it before they left. Jack, they need that translation. It could be the key to the negotiations."  
  
"Whoa, slow down, Danny. It's not the end of the world."  
  
"Jack, I forgot. I never forget things like this. I can't ... I ..."  
  
Jack got up and went to his pacing lover, pulling him into an embrace.   
  
"Shh, Love, it's okay. I know about that mission, and yes, it's important, but the world isn't going to end here because your report is a little late."   
  
Jack held Daniel tight. The young man was a quivering bundle of nerves.  
  
"Jack, it's my job. You wouldn't be so ... understanding if it was SG-1 going tomorrow."  
  
Jack pulled back and looked into Daniel's eyes.   
  
"Okay, it's only 9 p.m. I know you, and you won't relax until you get this handled, so why don't you just calm down, and head for the mountain. I bet you can have it translated in a jiffy."  
  
Daniel looked down.  
  
"Danny?"  
  
"I ... I can do it, Jack, but it's going to take at least four or five hours to get it done and do the report."  
  
Jack kissed Daniel, pulling their bodies close together.   
  
"It's okay. You have to do this, and I don't like it, but I understand, so let's get dressed and go to work."  
  
"Jack, we had a long day. I don't want to feel guilty because you didn't get any sleep."  
  
"You think I'll be able to sleep here in that big bed without you?"  
  
Daniel put his arms around Jack's neck, caressing it and fingering Jack's thin hair.   
  
"Please, Jack. You'll sleep better here. We can meet up for breakfast at the commissary in the morning. Okay?"  
  
"You drive a hard bargain, Dr. Jackson. It's a deal but only if you ..."  
  
"... seal it with a kiss?"  
  
"... or two or three."  
  
Ten minutes later, the two men still clung to each other.   
  
"Jack ..."   
  
The older man grumbled, "Go on."  
  
Daniel changed out of his sweats into some khaki pants and a blue plaid shirt, and went downstairs where Jack was waiting by the door with his blue jacket. Daniel smiled as Jack helped Daniel put on the coat. Turning to face him, Jack zipped up the warm coat and then leaned in for a final kiss.   
  
"Call me when you get there, Angel. I know ... I know ... but just humor me, okay?"  
  
"I do, Love ... every time you call me Angel."  
  
"I love you, Danny."  
  
"Love you, Jack, always."  
  
The next morning, with the translation finished and the report given to Franklin in plenty of time for him to become familiar with it, I headed for our meeting place, but Jack wasn't there. I figured maybe he had slept in, so I didn't call, not wanting to wake him.  
  
The next thing I knew, Hammond had summoned us to one of the holding cells, and there was this teenager who claimed to be Jack. My heart sank to the ground.   
  
"This is a joke," I told myself over and over.   
  
At first, we thought it really was Jack, but Selmac figured out it was a clone, which meant somewhere "up there" was My Jack, and I wanted him back ... now!  
  
What we eventually learned was that even the Asgard have their Makepeaces and Maybournes to worry about. This one was Loki, a renegade geneticist of a sort. He'd been doing research on humans for decades, temporarily replacing his subjects with clones until he was done with them. Thor was not pleased. Neither was I. It may have been the last straw.   
  
I'm normally a much more tolerant guy, but I'm getting as tired of the little gray butts interfering in My Jack's life as he is tired of the Tok'ra.   
  
It's not just Jack, but out there, living a life as a teenager, is the clone Jack. He knows, feels, remembers all that My Jack does, and yet he's in our society, acting like a 15 year old. How can someone who has experienced all that Jack has go back in time like that?   
  
I feel sorry for clone Jack. He's supposed to be worrying about girls and entrance exams, and yet he has memories of Sara and Charlie, Kawalsky, Iraq ... and .... me.   
  
"He has to go, Daniel. He can't be here with us. You have to know that."  
  
"Jack, he's not a kid. I don't care how much he looks like one, or how much he talks about wanting to start over, he's out there, with your life in his."  
  
"And he's making a new one, his own existence."  
  
"Walking away from the Stargate, from Special Ops, from flying? And what about ...," Daniel hesitated.  
  
"Danny, I know it's not an easy choice, but what other choice is there. Kill him?"  
  
"Jack, no, of course not. But ... I don't know. It's confusing. I don't even know what's right. It just makes me feel ... uneasy, and as difficult as it is for us to know he's out there, it has to be ten times as hard for him to know what he walked away from."  
  
"You. You are the only thing that it was hard for him to leave, Daniel. The rest ... means nothing when compared to you."  
  
"But ... he doesn't have me, Jack, so he doesn't have ... anything. It's ... wrong, Jack. It's just wrong."  
  
Jack held me his arms, tears escaping from my eyes for reasons I couldn't understand.  
  
"Shhh, Babe, I know. I know."  
  
He rubbed my back and kissed my neck, and then I sought out his tonsils, and we fought for domination. It was over way too fast, but we clung to each other tightly, having no answers about clone Jack except that My Jack and I would never forget him. I do wish I could forget about Loki, though.  
  
//End of Daniel's Diary//   
  
"Loki? Freakin' little gray butt. Freakin' Assssgard. I've had enough. THOR, DO YOU HEAR ME? It's been 32 hours and I want Jack back, now. THOR, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I KNOW YOU ARE MONITORING ME. THOR! Stupid little gray butt."  
  
Daniel paced all over the living room, ranting at Thor and the Asgard. Ten minutes later, he gave up, grabbing the bottle of St. Julien's and pouring himself a large glass of wine. Tenderly, Daniel starred at the full goblet.   
  
Jack always made sure they had a bottle of St. Julien's. It wasn't always the preferred and rare 1959, but the full-bodied wine was always good no matter what the year, so Jack indulged his lover with various years as much as possible. This bottle was from 1962.  
  
Daniel took a sip and then, "Oh to heck with it," he said, downing the entire goblet full of wine.   
  
He stood up and yelled, "I AM MAD AS HELL AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE. NO, I'M NOT THOR, SO YOU BRING HIM BACK NOW!, even if that is from some stupid movie Jack made me watch one night."   
  
Daniel started to throw the glass into the fireplace but stopped himself just in time.   
  
"These were Jack's mother's," he sighed at the goblet, plopping down onto the couch in despair.  
  
"I love you, Jack."  
  
With a swoosh, Jack reappeared behind the sofa.   
  
"Love you, too, Space Monkey."  
  
"Jack!"   
  
Daniel hopped up and ran into the open arms of his lover, who promptly began to ravish every inch of his mouth.  
  
"You taste so good, Jack."  
  
"So do you. Hmmm ... finished the Beychevelle?"  
  
"No, not quite. I just ... dented it a little."  
  
Daniel rested his head on Jack's shoulder as Jack held him tightly. Daniel's hand clung on to Jack's shirt. No way was Thor going to beam him out again without Daniel.   
  
"Nope, not gonna happen," Daniel thought silently, smiling at the warmth of Jack's body touching his.  
  
"I missed you, Angel."   
  
Jack's hold was tight. He knew at a glance Daniel had been going through a rough time while he was gone, but for Jack, it wasn't any fun either. He held his heart in his arms and squeezed Daniel into him. There was no such thing as being too close right now.  
  
"Me, too, Jack, so much, so freakin' much. I thought I was going to lose my mind."  
  
Jack saw Daniel's tired red eyes; he heard the weariness in his lover's voice; and he could feel Daniel was still tense as he held him, the young man's muscles tight beneath his fingers. He caressed Daniel's back and kissed his forehead, leaning his head into Daniel's for a moment.   
  
"That bad, eh?"  
  
"It had better have been important, Jack."  
  
"It was. You wouldn't believe the mess Freyr almost got the Asgard into."  
  
"Jack, right now I don't particularly care what happens to the Assssgard."  
  
Jack laughed.   
  
"You really did miss me, didn't ya?"  
  
"I'm such a sap, Jack. I don't even understand me anymore, except that I hate it when we're apart, especially when you're who knows where in the galaxy and those freakin' little gray butts won't let me go with you."  
  
Jack sighed softly, the sigh coming forth with a hint of a laugh in it, as Jack continued to hold his precious lover.   
  
"I understand you, Daniel. You're part of me, and I'm part of you. What we are together is bigger than either of us individually, so when one of us gone, it's like we've lost our other half, and in my case, my better half."  
  
"No, Jack."  
  
"Shhh, Danny, my turn. I know what you are going to say, and I'm proud of what I've contributed, but you're special, Danny, one in a zillion. They just don't come any better, and why I am the lucky one that you've given your heart to I'll never know, but I'm not dumb. I may act like it, but I'm not, and I'm not about to let you go, not ever."  
  
"Good, because I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Oh, yes you are."  
  
"Wha...what?"   
  
Daniel tried to move to look at Jack's face, but Jack wasn't loosening his hold.  
  
"Upstairs, to bed, where we have some unfinished business."  
  
Daniel sighed happily.   
  
"I could stay right here forever in your arms, Jack, and be happy."  
  
"Okay, we'll just stay here."  
  
Daniel broke away from Jack's hold, but grabbing his lover's hands, said ardently, "No way, O'Neill, let's go ..."  
  
As they walked towards the stairs, Jack noticed something strange out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and looked, recognizing what was once a holiday decoration laying battered on the floor.  
  
"Danny, what happened to ... Thor?"  
  
"I, uh, got a little ...", Daniel bowed his head and looked over towards the patio door, his face turning red with embarrassment.  
  
Jack walked over and picked up the deflated alien, and examined the stab wound.   
  
"You did this?"   
  
Daniel sighed and nodded. Jack laughed, causing Daniel to fidget and fold his arms in a self-hug position.  
  
Jack walked to him and tried to get the evasive young man to look at him. It took a bit of finesse, but finally Jack simply reached out placing his hand under Daniel's chin and raised it to meet his gaze.  
  
"I love you, even if you did destroy ... Thor."   
  
He kissed Daniel who was still a bit timid.   
  
"Hey, it's okay. It wasn't really Thor, you know."  
  
"I know, but ... Jack, I ... I liked it. I was so angry."  
  
"Daniel, you didn't know what was happening and you were worried about me. You got a bit of stress relief in the most harmless way possible. What's wrong with that?"  
  
Daniel softened, releasing his hold on himself in favor of leaning into Jack, his arms going around his lover's waist.   
  
"Besides, I'm proud of you, Danny."  
  
"Proud? Why?"  
  
"Because, my beautiful falling star, a few years ago, you never would have done this, used some meaningless object to make yourself feel better. You would have kept in every ounce of your stress and frustration and let it fester, and when I got back, you would have been a quivering mound of jelly.   
  
"I would know you were upset, because I always know when something is bothering you, Danny, and when I would have asked what was wrong, you would have said 'I'm fine, Jack.'   
  
"Keeping that stuff pent up isn't healthy, Daniel, so yes, I'm proud of you, and I'm also happy you're finally secure enough to destroy ole Thor over there. There's nothing to feel guilty about, Danny. In fact, maybe we should go shopping and find a dozen more Thor's for future stress relief sessions."  
  
"Jaaaaack!"   
  
Daniel hadn't moved within Jack's embrace, but Jack could feel him relax and he sensed his lover was calm. Jack brought his left hand up and placed it over Daniel's which was lingering over his chest. Jack brought Daniel's hand to his mouth and kissed his palm, and then released it, his arms going back around Daniel and squeezing him into him again.   
  
Jack felt like he could stay like this forever, holding Daniel in his arms, and not have a single regret.  
  
Daniel felt at peace at last as Jack held and caressed him with such love. No one in the universe made him feel the way Jack could just by holding him.  
  
"What are we going to say to Teal'c? He practically lives for Halloween to ... play with Thor."  
  
"I bet I can fix him, Thor, that is. It looks like it was one fell swoop. We'll say Thor had a little accident ... with a ... letter opener or something."  
  
Daniel pulled back and looked into Jack's eyes.   
  
"I'm sorry I ... stabbed him. I know how much you like having him out on Halloween."  
  
"Not nearly as much as I like having you all year long, which reminds me ... unfinished business, Dr. Jackson ... upstairs!"  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
They made their way up the stairs, and started to undress each other.  
  
As Jack pulled off the gray sweatshirt Daniel wore, he said with a grin.   
  
"Hey, you're wearing my shirt."  
  
Daniel blushed, "I ... I missed you."  
  
Jack pulled Daniel down onto their king-sized bed. They finished undressing as they caressed and kissed, until finally, their passion grew to what it had been the last time they had been together in their bedroom. Daniel was straddling Jack, laying down a line of kisses on his chest from his neck to his belly button.  
  
Suddenly, Daniel stopped and looked at his lover.  
  
"Daniel, what's wrong?"  
  
"Jack, did you talk to Thor about ..."  
  
Jack laughed.   
  
"I mean it Jack. I'm not letting him get away with this anymore. He's done it too many times, and by the way, we need to talk about General Hammond. He called and ..."  
  
"Danny, please don't mention the General when you're on my lap all naked and ... up ... like that. It just doesn't seem right."  
  
Jack reached up, cupped Daniel's face, and pulled him down to him, kissing him possessively.   
  
"It's okay, Angel, I did talk to him. No more unannounced drop ins or zapping outs. Okay?"  
  
"Are you sure, Jack?"  
  
"He promised. Now, do you really want to keep talking about Thor or ..."  
  
"I'll take the "or", please. Besides, I much prefer your butt over their little gray butts."  
  
Jack laughed, "thank goodness for that!"  
  
~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~ 


End file.
